your sweet music

fills the empty corners

of my harried life

your sublime words 

bring me consolation

your whimsical ways  

capture my heart

 enchanting me once again

 as the days when we were

young and free

my gratitude reaches out

to our Creator 

as we celebrate 

another year of life 

another year of laughter

another year of love 

sweet

enchanting

 sublime

 you are all this and more 

a  foretaste of heaven

for my

 once miserable soul

          Shortly after their wedding, my parents settled into the little home in the back of Lala’s Seattle property.  Their first child was named Reginald meaning King and their second child, Roderick, lived only to be a week old.  Their third child was christened Raphael meaning Healer and their fourth child was named Anna meaning Light.  One year after Anna was born, Meemee suffered a miscarriage and not knowing whether she had a boy or a girl, christened the baby Mary Jo.  Their lastborn was named Abigail meaning Joy Of My Father. 

          Daddy Popo and Meemee suffered much in their early years of marriage.  The death of their second child and the loss of another through a miscarriage would have been too much for most young families to bear.  They also had to endure the pain of seeing two of their children undergo open heart surgery under the the age of three.  But while they suffered and grieved when life threw them many painful trials, they never lost hope. 

          In order to support their growing family, both parents had to work outside of the home.  My parents worked tirelessly in order to send all four children to Catholic schools.  Most of their income paid for our tuition.  Daddy Popo eventually became an officer at a local bank in Quezon City and Meemee moved up the ranks at the Trade and Industry Office. 

          We relied heavily on nannies and housekeepers but even if both parents had to work, I never questioned their love and devotion for their children.  When any of us became ill, Meemee would always stay home from work and be at our bedside nursing us back to health.  Despite the fact that her government job required much travelling outside the country, Meemee never missed any school conference, function or pageant.  She was always there when we needed her which made me wonder if our Lord had given her the saintly grace of bilocation. 

          Since I was the lastborn, or the bunso, I couldn’t call my older siblings by their first names.  Out of respect, I was only allowed to call them Kuya for big brother and Ate for big sister.  Kuya Reg, Kuya Ralph and Ate Nancy were names commonly heard, hollered or otherwise hailed around our small yet busy Seattle home. 

          Our home had a light floor plan.  The first level had a living room, dining room, bathroom and kitchen.  The floor was made out of dark green marble.  This marble floor extended into three steps that ended on a landing.  This landing was to be our entablado, our  imaginary stage where we held our childhood concerts.  The marble landing then led to a set of wooden steps that took us to our sleeping quarters upstairs.  The living room and the dining room was separated by an estante, a large glass buffet that housed the small souvenirs Meemee had collected from her travels.  Our furniture was made from rattan, a couch and a pair of lounge chairs made from stained bamboo padded with large pillows.  Meemee had bought a dining room set from her hometown in Cavite.  If you looked closely, the backs of the chairs and the legs of the tables had dark, beautiful, hand-carved roses.  We had sliding wooden windows throughout the entire house which allowed much sunlight and fresh air to come through.

          Our life was simple.  And with that simplicity came a certain joy, a deep sense of contentment.  Once I asked Daddy Popo to buy me a pair of penny loafers since they were the in thing  in school.  He answered,

We cannot give you everything  but we will deprive you of nothing. 

          They were keen enough not to give in to the whims of a flighty fourth grader and, in the end, I was all the better for it.  Yes, they couldn’t give us everything we ever wanted, but they gave us everything we could ever hope for, that is, the beauty and richness of our Catholic faith, the hope of a better day, the warmth of home and the unconditional love of family. 

My Sweet Jesus, I thank you for my parents and all the sacrifices they endured for love of their children.  Through their quiet example, You, O Lord, were simply preparing my soul to face both the blessings and trials of my own family life.  Help me to remember that marriage is a sacrament, an eternal source of grace to help us cherish the joys and to help us endure the sorrows in this, the valley of tears.  Hold my hand, Sweet Lord, for I get so easily distracted, so easily distraught.  Teach me to be a quiet example of faith, hope and love to these precious souls that you have now entrusted to me.  Sweet Mother Mary, be with me always.  Amen. 

“And in the end, there is faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these, is love”

(1 Corinthians 13:13)

My Dearest Lawrence,

Helen Keller’s teacher, Anne Sullivan, once said

People seldom see the halting and painful steps at which the most insignificant success is achieved

You woke me early Saturday morning

your eyes were filled with intense sadness 

Angry words have pierced your heart

You were made to feel

insignificant

inadequate

imperfect

incapable

and worst yet

a failure

But know

my dear husband

I do not see you as the world wishes to see you

I see a beautiful person

struggling

striving

strong

selfless

Know that our Heavenly Father 

sees all your efforts

no matter how insignificant they seem to the world

Yes

Your Heavenly Father

your children

 and

I

love you

truly

unconditionally

eternally 

My dear husband

 our home is your haven

 from a world that can sometimes be filled with many angry voices

When you walk through the door

your children run to you

Why?

Because You Are A Hero

Their Hero 

Our Hero

My Hero

My Dearest Mia

This week we went to a little antique shop in town.  You had been looking for the perfect pair of small porcelain dolls.  To your delight, you found one sitting quietly on a vintage dresser while Mama found another doll stuffed away on a table nearby.

These are perfect

  you said.

After marvelling at their cornsilk hair and their pink porcelain cheeks,

your face turned sad. 

You discovered the dolls had no legs.

I’m not sure I want these dolls, Mama. I guess I will have to  put them back.

 There was a deep sense sadness in your voice.

As you were walking back to return the dolls, you paused,  ran back and said,

Mama,  when I was five years old ,  I saw a baby who had no legs.

He didn’t look perfect, but he was still a baby and a very happy one.

He made everyone smile. 

My child,  it is true that none of us are perfect. 

We all need to better ourselves in many, many ways. 

But our Heavenly Father created us for a purpose.  

Regardless of our imperfections,

our doubts,

our fears,

our restlessness, 

God put us on this earth,  

in this time,

 in this space,

to fulfill a purpose

His Purpose.

As soon as we returned home, you ran downstairs, setting the porcelain dolls in your dollhouse and named them

Courtney and Sage

I heard you and your siblings

laugh and play

till day turned into evening 

My child, these porcelain dolls imperfect as they were have fulfilled their purpose.  

They have taught you a life lesson

and

most importantly,

they have

made you

smile. 

My Dearest,

As I sit down and write this letter, gratitude fills my heart.  I am ever grateful to our Heavenly Father for giving you another year of life and ever grateful to you for being a part of my life.

I want to let you know how much the children and I appreciate everything that you do for us.  Thank you for being such a wonderful provider, working hard during the day and teaching guitar at night.  Thank you for being attentive to the needs of our children.  Thank you too for your willingness to homeschool and help around the house even when you are tired.  Know that your efforts do not go unnoticed and are very much appreciated. 

With God’s grace, I will strive to be a better wife, the wife God intended for me to be.  During the day, I will strive to be a better mother and do everything I can to keep our home a haven for you after a  busy day.  When you come home, I will try to give you my full and undivided attention and not worry too much about the hustle and bustle of routines and chores.    

I will strive to listen more, understand more, sacrifice more. 

I will strive to serve you joyfully and love you unconditionally.  

For I have learned that in loving and serving a wonderful man like you

 I find my truest heaven. 

 Happy Birthday!

Dearest Princess Issa,

It amazes me how much you are growing everyday

You prance around the house in your princess gowns

And your dresses resemble everything pink and taffeta   

You wave your starry wand as you tiptoe and flutter around our little castle 

Your imagination reaches the stars

 Come close to me

My daughter

For I must whisper to you a secret

A secret that is not made of fairytales

But is an awesome reality

My dear daughter

You Are A Princess!

You are the daughter of

The King of Kings, The Lord of Lords, The Creator of the Universe

Through the grace of your Baptism

You have become a beloved daughter of Our Heavenly Father

An heir to His Kingdom

A kingdom above and beyond your wildest imagination

 But you must strive

My dear princess

To live a life worthy of this Kingdom

To live a life worthy of Heaven

In the meantime

Keep praying

 Keep prancing

 Keep dreaming

Keep dancing

And know that you will always be

His Little Princess

and

mine

Dearest Jo Boy,

This day was full of tears.

We went out into our porch and discovered a hummingbird trapped in its feeder.

When we came closer

We realized that it had passed away.

“Why do beautiful creatures have to die?”

you asked.

Your endless tears tore my heart to pieces.

My son,

We live in the valley of tears

When our Heavenly Father created this world

We were created to live forever

Death was never a part of His plan

Death entered this world not because of Him

Death entered this world because of sin

But take heart !

Our Sweet Savior has conquered sin !

Our Sweet Jesus has conquered death !

Be strong my son

When we face death

Know that it is simply a passing from this life to the next

a simple doorway to eternity

Just imagine

Eternal Life

Eternal life with Him

Whose love is for you is so much stronger

Than

Death itself

Dear Jo Boy,

After dinner, you asked everyone to go outside the deck and look at the fireflies. 

Everytime they flickered, they looked like shining stars

in a very dark and vast forest. 

Then you jumped up and gave Mama a hug. 

“What was that for?” 

Mama asked.

You said,

“Thank you God for these fireflies!  I’m so happy I could burst!”

My son,

Isn’t it amazing how a tiny firefly could bring you so much joy? 

That is what Our Heavenly Father wants you to do for others.    

No matter how small you are,

 You can bring the joy and light of Christ to a dark, lost and hurting world. 

Stay close to Him always.

He loves you dearly and so do we.